Today I submitted my official application to transfer to St Andrews. 

Some of you may have seen this coming ages ago, but I know for others it will be a bit of a shock. I’m sorry that I can’t sit down with each one of you and have a personal conversation about it. I hope this helps a bit in explaining things.

If you know me at all, you know that I am a planner. I always have some grand scheme going on in my mind (even if it changes every week) and can tell you each step that I will need to undertake in order to accomplish it, along with multiple backup plans in case of obstacles. I get anxious when I don’t have everything in order. I try to line every detail up, and I only rest when everything is sorted out. I am a planner, or at least I used to be. 

This year has changed a lot of things for me. A year ago I would never have pictured myself still in Scotland. There was a plan, a path that seemed perfectly laid out for me back at Baylor. I was secure and comfortable with it. And I was really happy with it. It seemed that God had provided everything I needed to reach my goals and surrounded me with some of the greatest people in the world. 

But then I came to St Andrews. I dove into Theology classes that engaged and challenged me more than I could have ever imagined. I became involved in a wonderful church and a great community of Christian students that give me hope for the universal Church. I fell in love with the scenery, with the culture, with the people. And I watched myself grow unexpectedly in faith, confidence, freedom, joy and peace. 

There are many reasons I could go through to try and explain the decision to transfer. I went through endless Skype calls and conversations, pro/con lists, coin flippping, and of course, prayer. I got emails full of advice from some of the most trusted people in my life. Unexpected doors were opened (involving forgotten bank accounts and miracle houses) and every objection seemed to be answered with, “Stay at St Andrews.” I made a careful and fully deliberated decision, but when it comes down to it, coming to the UK felt like coming home, and it’s just not time to leave yet.  

I don’t know what’s next after this year. Maybe I’ll stay here, maybe I’ll come back, maybe I’ll go elsewhere. In the meantime, I am learning to focus on the next step and trust for the rest. I am learning to hold every plan with fully open hands, to surrender my own designs and trust in the Lord’s path. 

- For those who I am leaving behind, please know I will miss you dearly. It was a heart-wrenching decision, knowing that I may not see many of you again for quite a long time. I truly cherish every friendship I’ve been blessed with during my time at Baylor. You all have shaped and encouraged me in endless ways, and I will never be able to adequately express my gratitude. I will be in Texas June through August, and am planning on coming up to Baylor the week before classes, so please let’s get together and enjoy some good Common Grounds/Cameron Park/Sonic time. What’s more, if you ever find yourself craving a trip to the UK, come on over and visit!

joyonthespectrum:

Make no mistake: if he rose at all
It was as His body;
If the cell’s dissolution did not reverse, the molecule reknit,
The amino acids rekindle,
The Church will fall.

It was not as the flowers,
Each soft spring recurrent;
It was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled eyes of the
…

Silence.

This is what Saturday gives us.

The great drama of the cross is over and all is eerily silent. 

Jesus lies in the tomb. “Why have you forsaken me?” has been met with silence.

The disciples are scattered and frightened. Their great leader is dead and they can’t understand why. Their doubts are met with silence.

On this day there is no hope of the resurrection to look forward to, no joyous celebration. All appears dark and forsaken. God has turned his face away and does not answer. 

While we know the next part of the story, the glory that is about to be revealed, today we are reminded of the silence of God. We are reminded that his silence does not mean apathy and it is not the final answer. In our own situations of doubt and suffering we can look back to this day and identify. We understand that feeling of forsakenness and confusion, that anger at injustice, that hopelessness of despair.

But we possess a hope that wasn’t there that day long ago. We are able to look forward to the glory yet to come in each situation. We can encounter God’s silence and choose to say, “I don’t understand, but I trust.”

And we wait.

Here is love, vast as the ocean,
Lovingkindness as the flood,
When the Prince of Life, our Ransom,
Shed for us His precious blood.
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?
He can never be forgotten,
Throughout Heav’n’s eternal days.

On the mount of crucifixion,
Fountains opened deep and wide;
Through the floodgates of God’s mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide.
Grace and love, like mighty rivers,
Poured incessant from above,
And Heav’n’s peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love.

chairohs:

by John Donne

LET man’s soul be a sphere, and then, in this,
Th’ intelligence that moves, devotion is ;
And as the other spheres, by being grown
Subject to foreign motion, lose their own,
And being by others hurried every day,
Scarce in a year their natural form obey ;
Pleasure or business,…

Today I learned two new words: swish and plait.

My friend was describing his dad’s office as very “swish,” which launched a discussion of what exactly “swish” means. It was explained as kind of like “swanky,” but less in your face and pretentious. Oh, the subtleties of language. 

Then, I was talking to a friend about how I had braided my hair yesterday, which led to the question of “What is a braid?” Apparently, what we call a braid, they call a plait. Also, I always thought it was pronounced like “plate,” but it’s more like “platt”. 

Every new word I learn constantly reminds me that though we share a language, there are many things that don’t always translate.

There are a lot of similarities between British and American culture, and most things usually translate. However, it does occasionally happen that something British blows my mind or, conversely, I am able to surprise someone with something American. 

The other day, my friend was asking me what colo[u]r our postboxes are. I responded, “Blue, I think”, [FYI they’re red over here] which prompted a “You think?” I replied that I wasn’t positive because I hardly ever used them since I could just put letters into my mailbox. 

I didn’t know that the concept of a mailbox could have such a drastic effect, but my friend stopped in the middle of the pavement [sidewalk]  and turned to me with a, “WHAT? What’s a mailbox?” After the concept was explained, her mind was absolutely blown. She was amazed that someone would come by and pick up mail every day. Later, she brought the topic up again, explaining to another Brit about this new concept. Both continued to be a bit incredulous. 

Cultural exchanges like this are not part of my everyday life anymore (much of that happened the first few weeks here), but it is always quite amusing now when one does happen. 

After Christmas, I spent about 12 days at home (waiting on a visa) before heading back to St. Andrews and diving straight into exams. Over here, they count for 50% of your grade and are 3 hours long, so Baylor exams are almost enjoyable in comparison. But, they went decently well, and got to celebrate with 2 weeks off before second semester.

For intersemester, Claire and I first went to Edinburgh to meet the new Baylor group. They are wonderful and I think we are in for a great semester with them. Edinburgh was lovely; we went to a coffee shop that Claire had discovered called Black Medicine Coffee Co. Had a “lodge” feel to it, and they played a ton of Fleet Foxes, so gained my approval. We enjoyed several hours of reading the Hunger Games… obsessed… theme of all of intersemester. 

We then headed down to London for the week. Round 2 of London was fantastic. I am even more in love with it than ever and could definitely see myself living there some day. Our friend Jo showed us around East London, which has a very hipster, vintage feel to it. Really enjoyed all the shops and street art.

We had a private audience with Rowan Williams, the archbishop of Canterbury, at his residence in Lambeth Palace. He was so friendly and kind, and had a lot of interesting things to say about the future of the church in the UK and Christianity in general.

Enjoyed dinner in one of London’s oldest pubs, the George Inn, and then met up with St. Andrews friends who took us to another one of London’s oldest pubs. Also had a fun adventure involving going down the up escalator in the tube station….

The next day, I met up with my friend Tom from St. Andrews and we went around the British Museum and the National Gallery. We both absolutely loved the Monets that were there and spent quite a lot of time in the Impressionist area. Then met up with Claire and Louise for a lovely lunch on the steps in Trafalgar Square. Claire, Tom and I then went to the Notting Hill Area and thoroughly enjoyed Portobello Street. A new favourite area of London for sure.. lots of random fun shops and antiques. Plus, the Hummingbird Bakery… AMAZING. Red velvet cupcake = the dream.

We also saw the play War Horse that evening. I was not a massive fan as the storyline was pretty weak and there wasn’t much character development. However, the costumes were wonderful and the puppets they used for the horses were beautiful, so at least there was a feast for my eyes.

Friday we took a daytrip to Cambridge, which I think I like better than Oxford (but not better than St. Andrews). The town just feels more comfortable and less touristy. We also went punting, which is kind of like a mix of a gondola and a rowboat, and got to see a lot of the town that way. That evening we went to a beautiful Evensong service in Kings College Chapel. Then we had the really cool experience of taking part in a formal dinner at Jesus College. Formal dinner is a pretty big tradition at Cambridge where students dress in their robes and join different faculty for a several course dinner. It was definitely a lot of fun, and there was a lot of good conversation with one of the theology professors.

Saturday Claire and I hit up Borough Markets, which was just a huge market area with tons of delicious food. If I lived in London, I would definitely spend a lot of time there.

Then, after some train mishaps, we made our way to the Cotswolds to stay with our friend Ash for the weekend. Such an enjoyable time of relaxing. We did a lot of sitting by the fire, reading, drinking tea, and chatting. It was wonderful.

Now back in St. Andrews and gearing up for the start of second semester and many more adventures!

We didn’t spend much time in Rome, and I’m actually quite glad we weren’t there for very long since the post-Christmas crowds were a bit intense. Still, we saw pretty much everything that we wanted to. Out of the major cities I’ve visited, Rome is definitely the most interesting. I think Paris is prettier and London is much more a place I could actually live in, but Rome wins the interest award. You can walk around and come upon ancient buildings and pieces of history everywhere you go. There’s also just SO much history and importance there that you are constantly engaged.

Somehow we had made it a week and a half in Italy without ever getting gelato. I blame the cold weather. However, with our departure becoming more imminent, the need for gelato became clear. After all, going to Italy and not getting gelato is like going to Paris and not even spotting the Eiffel Tower. We made up for it while in Rome, though. Yum!

Favourite part: private tour of the Vatican. My dad got connected with a guy who works at the Vatican, so he got us through the crowds and gave us explanations of all the significant things, like the most important Renaissance piece, Raphael’s “Transfiguration”. Simply incredible. If you look at the painting, you see that there is a blind boy who is pointing straight to Jesus, symbolizing that he knows exactly who Jesus is, but everyone else in the crowd isn’t “seeing” the truth even though they have working eyes. It’s the whole concept of the Spirit giving us “eyes to see, ears to hear” God’s revelation in Christ. I loved it. 

We also stumbled upon the house that John Keats died in on our last day there. I adore Keats (watch the movie Bright Star/read any of his poetry to understand why), so I was glad to have accidentally found the house. 

I had an absolutely wonderful time in Italy. So blessed by the opportunity to see such incredible sights and art and to enjoy such delicious cuisine, and to just enjoy quality time with my family. Definitely a Christmas to remember!